Oh Brother// FRED

[Roxanne Weasley]

Strange was the first thought to cross Roxanne's mind as she stood at the till; her father's shop was empty. It was never empty, especially not during the summer months. Usually the place would be abuzz with children and their weary parents, pleading with them to not buy this or that, that certain products were a hazard to their health and their parents mental capacity. Which Roxanne had to admit was the utter truth. Weasley products were a hazard to anyone's health. She'd help to make a few of the products, both knowingly and unknowingly she'd been a test subject before. So much so that certain products caused Roxanne to jump whenever she'd have to ring them up on the till because she really knew what they did. But taking this as one of her first free moments all day, Roxanne pulled out her book from underneath the countertop. 

She was re-reading for the 90th time "The Great Gatsby." It'd been one of her favourites, and one of the main reasons that she was determined to cross an ocean - eventually. Leafing through the well worn pages Roxanne found her place and sighed, leaning against the counter. She glanced up at the clock; her parents were on "Date" night - which meant Roxanne would definitely be returning to the flat she shared with her somewhat homicidal cousin and insane best friend, and Roxanne had agreed to help with the shop. 

Casting her eyes back down to the page in front of her, Roxanne began to read, becoming engrossed in the tale of a man who did everything for love just to end up dead in the end. She was so engrossed in her tale that she didn't heard the footsteps approaching behind her. 

[Fred Weasley II]

Admittedly, it wasn't the ideal job he had wanted to spend his entire Saturday doing, but since his parents very rarely requested time for themselves away from the shop, Fred had offered to take over for the day and grant them their date night. In what appeared to be a freak occurrence, Roxanne had dropped by to grace the joke shop with her services that afternoon, although Fred was curious what exactly sitting with her feet up, reading a book did to help with custom.

The place had been a little hectic first-thing that afternoon, and the shelves, particularly in the WonderWitch section, had become a little sparse. Since coming back from a fifteen minute break, in which Fred had left the running of the store in Roxanne's hands, he had resorted to sifting through the frustratingly disorganised store room in the back trying to find the appropriate stock boxes to refill the spaces.

Finally, with his back aching from hauling and bending over for the majority of the day, Fred heaved another crate onto his shoulder and sidled through to the shop floor, passing his sister, engrossed in what he swore was the only book she ever read, to find that the shop was deserted.

He dropped the crate of Love Potions rather unceremoniously on the floor beside its respective garishly pink display stand, the tiny bottles clinking together precariously. "Rox!" Fred exclaimed, turning on the spot and gesturing to the empty space around him. "What did you do to everyone? This place was half full when I left."

[Roxanne Weasley]

The loud thud and cling-clang of potions bottles shook Roxane to the core, causing her to jump. She dropped her book and twisted in her chair, falling to the floor with a crash. She knew her brother had been in the back, stocking and rearranging, but as per usual, she'd become so engrossed in the tale at hand that she'd forgotten the world around her. It was scary at times how good she was at blocking out the world.

"Oi!" she shouted, forcing herself up onto her hands, the floor was dusty and dirty, causing her to cough as wheeze as she clambered to her feet. Her long reddish brown hair falling in her face as she stood. "Next time at least warn me that you're coming. You scared me! Why not be a normal Weasley. Shout, make a ruckus, scream . . ." she rubbed her elbow that'd caught her fall and then leant forward to pick up her book. "And I lost my page. Freeedddieeee." She whined, her lips pouting. As if she didn't know the book by heart or what page she'd been on.

At his words however, she gazed around the shop, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. "It's a beautiful summer afternoon, Freddie. Maybe all of our customers decided to take a day off from the good ol' pranking trope and go out and explore . . ." in truth she didn't know what'd happened to the customers, but she did know that it was the first time all day she'd managed to grab a seat and a moment to herself. "Plus, it's been a madhouse in here all day. Enjoy the break. Come, sit, relax. Mum and Dad don't have to know that you took a tiny break. Besides, shouldn't you be mentally preparing for your game or something?" She asked, throwing her book down onto the counter and then leaning against it.

[Fred Weasley II]

Fred looked on wearily as Roxanne crashed, rather indelicately to the floor, disappearing behind the counter in a racket that coincidentally emphasised her following point about the Weasley tendency of causing a ruckus. He couldn't quite help but crack a smile, however, when she resurfaced again, dishevelled and dusty.

"Hey now, don't criticize me just because you were off in bookland when you should've been watching the shop," he smirked, reaching down to retrieve the tired-looking book and shaking off the dust before handing it back. He ignored her whinge about losing her place, reassured in the knowledge that she would be perfectly happy opening it to any random page and continuing on. "And I don't have to be a normal Weasley; I've got you to make enough noise for the two of us."

Discarding the restocking of the shelves for a moment, Fred let himself be lured into slouching against the end of the counter. He groaned a little at the mention of the match coming up, and shook his head at Roxanne, whom he was certain could sympathise with the additional tasks he had to perform as well as playing Chaser. Fred had spent the previous practice simultaneously working-out and playing referee between his fellow teammates; Roxanne's boyfriend, Scorpius, and their cousin, Dominique. A work-out in itself, if Fred was being completely honest. "I'm taking a day off from having to think about it."

[Roxanne Weasley]

"I was not in bookland!" Roxanne protested with a flourish, knowing very well that her words were lies. Of course she'd been in bookland, whenever granted the opportunity to be in bookland that is where she found herself. She'd even begun to consider how to make her fascination with the written word into a career since all other prospective career paths seemed innocuous to her. The ministry, aside from the departments her aunt and two uncles worked in seemed a bore; the prophet seemed full of hacks; and quidditch - HA! Until she could find something that truly tickled her fantasy, she'd be content with working in her father's shop - or so she hoped. Like any other Weasley, Roxanne became restless easily, so she knew she needed a change of pace and scenery soon. Maybe she considered, she could talk her parents into bankrolling a trip across the ocean? Roxanne shook her auburn locks and huffed indelicately as Fred handed her back her book, and she narrowed her eyes, trying to zero in on the conversation at hand.

Focus, Roxie, focus, she reminded herself. A frown passed over her face at Fred's latest words and she narrowed her eyes dramatically. "I did not make that much noise, Merlin. You think i'd knocked everything off the shelves! Hyperbole at its finest!"

As Fred approached the counter, Roxanne's brown eyes surveyed his worn expression and somewhat slouched position. She wondered if he was tired; he looked it; both mentally and physically. Poor Freddie, she thought, then at his last words the sudden reason why Fred seemed so tired came to mind; he was playing on a team with Dominique and Scorpius - a murder waiting to happen. "So how many times has Dominique threatened to castrate or kill my boyfriend then?" She laughed, though a part of her was seriously concerned for both Scorpius' safety. Dominique was one snitch shy of a mental patient, though Roxanne didn't think she'd do anything purposeful to him.

---

ooc: Does Roxanne know about Fred's crush on Bridget?

[Fred Weasley II]

"'Hyperbole', huh?" Fred repeated, raising his eyebrows and shooting Roxanne an impressed grin. He reached down absently into another unloaded stock box near his feet and tugged out two pieces of candy, tossing one over to Roxanne before unwrapping his own and shoving it into his mouth. "That's a big word. At least you're learning something when you're reading instead of working!"

Not that he hadn't always, but after accepting his academic shortcomings and finding his alternate calling on the pitch, Fred found that he had an immense pride in witnessing the intellectual growth of his little sister. She was always smarter, and over the years it had become increasingly clear that she could probably go after any career she wanted - all the more reason why he became so frustrated watching her sit around, doing nothing but read a lot of the time.

Fred smirked back at Roxanne's hilariously accurate description of the week's practices and shook his head ponderingly. "Nahh, she wouldn't kill him. She'd keep him just barely hanging on to dear life and torture him slowly," he said knowingly, almost as if reciting the information from memory. A memory, perhaps, of only every practice since they'd all ended up on the same Quidditch team, in which Dominique would express her deep hatred for Scorpius loudly and graphically in front of Fred and urge him to back her up in the name of family. "But yeah," he sighed wearily and pressed his face into his hands, chuckling slightly. "I guess I lost count. I do only have two hands and feet, Rox! I think the fact that we need three Chasers for the match is the only thing keeping her from letting a bludger loose on him."


_{ooc: I'd think so, yeah. I couldn't imagine that he's all that shy or like easily-embarrassed, so he'd probably let it be known that he's totally crushing after her haha}

[Roxanne Weasley]

"As in an exaggeration - it's a figure of speech, you know when I say that you could eat a house. I don't really mean that you could eat a house. Though I'm not certain, we haven't lived together in a bit, so your eating habits may have changed. Though we both seem to be at home a lot when it comes to dinner some days," she rambled on, hoping onto the counter and plopping down on it without the least bit of grace. When it came to her brother, Roxanne often found herself straddling the line between feeling like a little kid and trying her hardest to sound like an adult. Before she was completely situated, however, Fred threw a piece of candy in her direction, causing her to jump and almost lose her balance - for the second time that day. She grinned at him sheepishly as she scooped the sweet up and unwrapped it, plopping it into her mouth. Merlin she'd be in trouble if her mum walked in, sitting on top of a counter, mid shift, eating sweets, and shooting the breeze? She could hear Angelina now. Well, she practically did hear her mum's voice at her brother's next words, which garnered him an eye roll. "Really, Freddie. Come on, breathe you plonker. Mum and Dad are out on a date - which thankfully I don't live in that household, well tonight at least. They've got it all to themselves and I really don't want to know what they have planned. . . " Roxanne rattled on, cringing at the mere thought as she swung her legs to and fro. Her parents - being intimate, ew.

With her book very much so abandoned and sitting next to her, Roxanne turned towards her brother, listening intently as he talked about quidditch practice. "You know, I do love him, and I know you're quite tired, too . . . but if you could just hold on a little longer and stop Dom from murdering him - you know, just until after the wedding . . ." she added the wedding part in there with a deadpan expression on her face. She was completely and utterly joking of course, she'd never get married this young, ever, but decided to have a bit of fun at her brother's behest. "We're thinking of marrying before the baby comes, you'll help me tell mum and dad i'm expecting right? I'm not showing yet, but I think it's better to say it now, and not later. Oh and will you finally suck it up and ask Bridget out for the wedding, I don't want my brother to be all alone in the wedding photos. . ." she rattled with nonchalance, trying to gauge his reaction.

First Lorcan and now Freddie, someone was going to kill her soon.

[Fred Weasley II]

Fred rolled his eyes but nodded along as Roxanne educated him on English language and began tugging the tiny glass vials out of the box he had dropped near his feet, to slot them carefully into place on their display stand. "Yeah, well," he said a little indignantly at her mention of often returning home for dinner, "sometimes I'd rather be eating mum's charred spuds than sat with James on the couch pretending like we don't know exactly what Seth and Rose are up to behind closed bedroom doors." He paused with a Love Potion half way to it's spot and gave a full-body shudder.

Fred briefly returned to his careful alignment of the delicate bottles and listened to his sister. In what appeared to be a sudden bout of verbal diarrhoea, however, (because why else would someone mention that, of all things?) Fred's head snapped up and he gawked at Roxanne, horrified. Frequent battling with images of Seth and Rose were one thing, and Scorpius and Roxanne was another level entirely, but mum and dad? "Oh, Merlin! Rox!" he moaned, leaning over and shoving her in the shoulder. "Why would you even...? I mean- just, eurgh!"

Narrowing his eyes over at Roxanne, Fred hastily shoved the vial in his hand onto the stand and then, though still far from the end, sulkily abandoned the task. He snatched himself another candy from the bottom of the other box and pushed himself up onto the counter beside Roxanne, her words only really sinking in once he'd settled himself. The candy was unwrapped and poised, an inch from his lips, as he stared sidelong at his sister, eyes wide and wild as he tried to weigh the possibility of it being the truth against that of a truly twisted joke.

All of a sudden, however, Fred's shoulders relaxed and he dropped his hand as logic finally caught up. He tried to hold back the smirk but shook his head incredulously, huffing out a laugh. "You little shit."

[Roxanne Weasley]

Her sweet was just about gone when Fred's shudder caused her to laugh and promptly swallow; her laugh intermingled with coughing as she tried to keep a straight face at his indignation. Though she did want to shudder at the thought of Al or James, or even Fred getting it on in the next room while she was trying to eat. She watched as he stacked vials, pointing to empty spaces that needed to be filled. A smile crossed her face as she did so, reminding her of when she and Fred were younger and she'd sit on the counter top instructing their dad on where things went. "So Rosie and Seth are shagging whilst you lot are in the next room? How terrible! I've never done such a thing." Which was almost true.

The shove to her shoulder made Roxanne laugh even more, though secretly the thought of her parents going at it caused her to shudder right along with Fred. She tried to be grown up about her next words, as she straightened herself out, but nonetheless, she was still fighting back laughter at his reaction. "What?" She asked, feigning obviousness. "How do you think we got here, plonker? The stork story is not the truth. Plus, mum and dad are still pretty young and . . .y'know, I'm going to stop this line of thinking because that's my mum and dad, yeah?" she couldn't hold a straight face any longer, and mental images were starting to form. While Roxanne thought her parents were absolutely adorable when they were snuggled together and clear in love, she didn't want to imagine them like that.

She waved her hand in the air, and shook her head, pushing the images away as she focused in on her brother's reaction to her news, a grin on her face as he slowly worked it through in his brain. Roxanne beamed with pride as he finally came to the correct conclusion and she shrugged. "You were getting seriously concerned there for a moment, weren't you? Afraid that you were going to be Uncle Freddie?" she winked and laughed, patting her stomach for effect. "Nothing in here but sweets and pumpkin juice, promise. I've already done the pregnancy scare thing - never again," she went on seriously, shuddering slightly at the memory, before tossing her hair back and glancing at her brother, brows furrowed together. "So when are you going to ask Bridget out, that's what I really want to know!"

[Fred Weasley II]

"Seriously, Rox!" Fred exclaimed, hands half way to his ears in an attempt to shut out her psychotic babbling about their parents bringing them both into existence. Beautiful in theory, of course, such majestic creatures that he and Roxanne were, but absolutely horrendous to have your sister describing to you with a near grin on her face. Fred reached out and tried to cover her mouth, but gave up as she soon saw the error of her ways and trailed off to change the subject.

He shoved the sweet into his mouth finally and grimaced as Roxanne patted her stomach. "I was about to call up Dom and ask for some of her Malfoy-torture methods," Fred nodded, as she revelled in his brotherly concern, and grumbled at her mention of the previous pregnancy-scare, which, he wanted to point out, was precisely the reason he'd had initial cause for concern.

Fred ducked his head and tried to hold back the smirk that accompanied every conversation that arose about the goddess, Brigid Eilidh Finnigan. Before the life revelation that brought Fred and the beloved game of Quidditch together, when school matches were just something he attended mostly because his mates did, Fred witnessed a game that changed his life forever. In an attempt to distract the opposing team's Seeker, Brigid, in front of practically the entire school, flashed her bra at the guy, allowing Gryffindor to swoop in and catch the Snitch, winning them the House Cup. While the rest of his house were flailing around in joyous uproar, Fred Weasley was sat awestruck, staring out onto the pitch, falling madly in love.

"You're insane," he laughed, shaking his head. "Ask her out? I'd be surprised if she even knew my actual name! And to be honest, I'm glad. I'd rather be just another face on the team than risk making a prat of myself in front of her and be forever known as that guy. You know, I've actually managed to avoid having a conversation with her every time we've both been at the stadium at the same time," he finished matter-of-factly.

[Roxanne Weasley]

In her attempts to get to her brother, Roxanne's words had backfired; she'd become seriously disturbed by her own words and found herself more than grateful when Fred groaned, and essentially insisted on dropping the topic. She didn't want, nor did she think that she needed those images and reminders in her head. Luckily no images had truly started to form. Roxanne loved her parents, she truly did, and she was happy that they'd found one another, but them like that? Just no.

Legs crossed at the knee, Roxanne leant back, pressing her palms into the counter and continued to swing her legs. "You'd torture the father of your niece or nephew?" jokingly she added, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. Deep down she knew that Fred really worried about her, which she hated - well most of the time she hated his worry. When Fred worried he often forgot about himself, which Roxanne hated. "You know," she added, "you really don't have to worry about me in that department, right, Freddie?" seriousness lacing her tone for just a small moment as she searched for his face for understanding.

The seriousness of the moment was fleeting, however, because the grin and subsequent ducking of his head let Roxanne know that her brother was truly enamored by one Bridget Finnigan. Was Fred Weasley in love? Well one little sister was going to find out.

"Why won't you ask her out, you big bloke!" Roxanne protested, reaching over to thump her brother on the forehead. "How do you expect her to ever know your name if you just sulk off in the distance and not say something?" She rolled her eyes at his words, failing to see the logic in them. Yes she'd done the roundabout with Scorpius when they first started their love affair, but she distinctly remembered standing up and shouting at him that she liked him; something she thought her brother should really consider. An idea popped into her head at that moment; she'd send Bridget and owl signed from Fred. "That guy? You're a pretty great guy, so I don't know what you're talking about. Is the great Fred Weasley scared of telling a very beautiful girl that he fancies her?" Roxanne continued to prod, playing up the obnoxious little sister routine.

[Fred Weasley II]

"I would, without hesitation, torture Scorpius Malfoy if I found out he had knocked you up before walking you down some sort of aisle first, yeah," Fred confirmed, rolling his eyes when Roxanne began her spiel about not having to worry about her, because of course he did, she was his little sister, and even when they were in their nineties, she would still be his little sister. "Or any man who did that to you!"

Fred reeled back as Roxanne's fist came towards his face, but she still managed to smack him, square on the forehead. She seemed unaware of it, but Roxanne had always been pretty heavy-handed. "Rox!" he yelped, rubbing his head as she gave him the same old 'how do you ever expect...' speech.

"I'm not scared, I just- Look, she's different," he grumbled, idly sticking his food out so that Roxanne accidentally kicked herself whilst swinging her legs. A retaliation to the prod and a classic from the younger years - they could never tell on you to the parents for kicking them because technically you hadn't! "I'm not scared," he reiterated, narrowing his eyes at her, fully aware of the game she was trying to play.

"Anyway, when did I become a 'great guy'?" he smirked at Roxanne. "And 'the great Fred Weasley'? These are very recent titles I've picked up, I'm pretty sure just last week I was a 'raging idiot' and a terrible brother, just because I wouldn't get Dom out of the flat for you."

[Roxanne Weasley]

"Well first off," Roxanne started, straightening up as she cast her eyes sideways at him. He was in for a lecture now. "I don't have to be married to have children, my dear brother. This isn't the 1900s, and my worth isn't tied to a dowry, nor to my by reproductive choices. If by chance I did find myself pregnant - which won't be happening for a while, and I was in a committed relationship without being married, well I'm just fine with that. I don't have to get married, ever. And if I do - children or not, it'll be my choice. You and Dad won't be forcing anyone into anything. I have the right to autonomy. . ." she concluded her statement with a roll of her eyes. It was no secret that - of the many books Roxanne read, some of them were from her mother's feminist reading collection. Roxanne very much so believed in the woman's right to chose her own destiny, without male interference, which included marriage and children. She was also a stubborn Weasley woman, which anyone who knew anything about Weasley women, knew not to tell a Weasley woman that she couldn't do something.

Huffing, Roxanne sat back in contentment, the laughed as her brother reeled back from her slight tap to the head. "Oh don't over-react, you've done worse!" she teased, then went silent as he grumbled on about Brigid. She opened her mouth to say something when she felt her brother's foot behind her and she ended up kicking herself. "Oi! Fred!" she grumbled, rubbing her calf where she'd knicked herself. "You're a git!" she protested with a roll of her eyes before zeroing in on the conversation at hand. She wanted to thump him in his head again, but stopped short. "You're scared! What are you afraid of? That she'll say no? Come on, Freddie, you'll never know what she'll say if you don't ask . . ."

"And you've always been a great guy, but you're a big git, too. So. . ." she left the conversation at that, not willing to feed her brother's ego any more than necessary.

---

ooc: she's so owling Brigid and pretending to be Fred, watch! Also, Roxanne is a feminist, so that explains her rant, lol

[Fred Weasley II]

Fred sat stunned throughout the entirety of Roxanne's speech, mouth hanging open a little, until she ground to a spectacular halt. He had never given it as much thought as Roxanne obviously had, which he supposed now was part of the privilege of being born a male, but now that she'd made the point Fred sort of understood. After a beat in which this revelation took hold he began to nod slightly. "Okay," he agreed, short and simple, with an almost proud smile, "So you don't have to get married. I'm not taking torture off the table, though. Your baby-daddy still has to win me over."

"Also, y'know, you needn't worry because you've always had autonomy, in our house at least. Mum and dad would agree with me on that one," he added teasingly. It was true, though, there wasn't one time Fred could think of that Roxanne did something she didn't want to do, even if it was an elder asking her to do it.

Fred chuckled as she rubbed her calf and laughed even harder when she returned to referring to him as a 'git'. He fully expected a retaliatory hit back, but it never came and instead she continued on with her pestering him into making a move with Brigid. "Yeah," he huffed, getting a little frustrated that Roxanne couldn't see where he was coming from on this. "Of course I'm concerned that she'll say no, and then it'll be weird that I'm there every week on the pitch and she might think I'm ogling her or something. I don't know!" He flapped his arms.

He was somewhat aware that his excuses were feeble and understood Roxanne's view of him being a coward about it all, but Fred had been crushing on Brigid for a good amount of years now and despite having small, fleeting relationships here and there throughout, nothing could make him forget her. This, Fred completely understood, could be seen as a little creepy, especially seeing as he was fairly sure she only knew him by his surname and had probably exchanged little more than a handful of words the entire time they had been on the team together, ranging from 'Morning' and 'Good catch', to 'See you next week'.

"Awh, Rox, do you-? You do!" Fred suddenly cooed, turning to his little sister and grinning wickedly. "Don't be embarrassed. C'mon, say it, I know you want to-" He wrapped an arm around Roxanne's neck and made an attempt at working her mouth like a ventriloquist's dummy. "You looooove me!"


_{[OOC: Oh gosh, that is going to be hilarious and horrifying for him! :') And ahaha I totally saw that coming. He walked straight into that one. Also, sorry this one is so shitty ]}

[Roxanne Weasley]

Slowly, though surely, Roxanne watched as her words sunk into what she'd always deemed was her brother's too thick head. She'd been preparing for a fight, or for some type of protest in regards to the assertions and claims she'd made, but was pleasantly surprised when her brother easily gave in, nodding his head in agreement. For effect, she leant over and patted his head, still getting used to his hair being close cropped to his head. She'd liked it when they were little and his hair used to free flow in all directs, like hers; more often than not people actually thought that they were twins. "Funny," Roxanne quipped, her brow angling in Fred's direction. "I thought he had to win me over. I am the one sleeping with him, unless there's something you're not telling me?"

His agreement to her proclamation of autonomy also made her beam with pride. The argument would more than likely fall on flat ears when it came to her parents - though her mother often had the ability to listen more than her father did. "Just make sure you and everyone else knows it!" stated Roxanne flatly.

The conversation shifted and the siblings quirrled as if they were children again. Knicks to the shin and clonks on the head ranged free until Roxanne brought up her brother's cryptonite - Brigid Finningan. Like a dog with a bone, and making a mental note to clonk him in the head again later, Roxanne pressed the subject. "Well you already oogle her like a numpty - might as well let her know you appreciate her form you plonker!" she insisted, her voice taking on a teasing quality as she rolled her eyes at her brother's attempt to stay hidden when love was out there waiting. Roxanne was, in a sense, an utter romantic; she could dream up fantastical stories of love on the spot. It was all what had made her the perfect Ravenclaw, her ability to dream.

She didn't get to say much more on the subject when she felt her brother's too large arm sling around her shoulder and his glove like hand moving her chin. She squirmed, clawing at her brother's hand and rolling her eyes. "You over grown loon, get off! I do not love you right now!" she shouted, watching aimlessly as people passed by the shop. At times like this she hated being smaller than her brother. "You're messing up my hair Fred! Come on!" she whined, wishing her mother was here to yell at her brother right now. "Ugh, fine! I love you!"