Post by Albus Potter on Jan 30, 2014 3:24:43 GMT -5
[presto]
EIGHTEEN
MALE
EX-SLYTHERIN
HALFBLOOD
HETEROSEXUAL
SAM WAY
ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER
 The first rule of being a Potter is that your life belongs to you, and nobody else, no matter what they think. Forget that, and you're gone. I think I copped the most flak for what my family is; I looked exactly like my dad did, age eleven; the blood of the other two members of the Golden Trio joined school that year in the form of my cousin Rose; Scorpius Malfoy came to school to contrast between our families further; and I was sorted into Slytherin. It was a hell of a September 1st for our family, and I guess, by proxy, the rest of the Wizarding World. It's not too bad, I guess. I mean, I've heard the stories, and at least we don't have Rita Skeeter spinning tales about us. Then again, I'm not the Chosen One. I'm just the lookalike kid. I probably sound really bitter. I'm not. Honestly, I'm not. I love my father a lot, and I respect him too. The same goes for my mother. It's just... sometimes it's difficult. The whole wizarding world knows my name, you know? Sometimes it's like everyone wants a piece of me. Dad had it much worse, but even then, there was a reason. He defeated Voldemort as a baby, and did it pretty much every year of Hogwarts; at least there was something for them to talk about when they said his name. James, Lils and I? We've never defeated a dragon, or killed a basilisk, or watched a man die. There is no reason to know our names. And yet, everywhere I go in the magical world, somebody knows my name, and somebody always thinks that I'm a spoilt brat, living a life of privilege because of my dad, and wishing they were me, had the same opportunities and connections I do. Do you know how frustrating it is for people to be so condescending about you for being talked about and famous despite having done literally nothing of note in your life? Because I do. And some days I just want to scream that I didn't ask for any of it, that I don't want any of it, that I wish there were no special perks that come with my name or my face, but there are, and I can't do anything about it, and I'm through being sorry about it. That's something Slytherin - my Hogwarts house - taught me. I shouldn't have to say sorry for being born, for being who I am. People call Slytherin the dark house - and I subscribed to this notion before being sorted into it, I admit - but I've found it to be the most loyal house by miles. Perhaps the individual members aren't innately loyal - I would never deign to insinuate that Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs don't own that trait, in a stereotypical sense - but as a house? We were so loyal to each other. We took care of our own, and you know why? Nobody else will. Sure, we had friends in other houses, but on the whole, it was still everyone vs Slytherin, and we all learnt to deal. It wasn't the first time we'd ever be judged for something we represented in the minds of others, and I know it won't be the last. Luce and I are the sole Slytherins in the family, which can be kind of shitty at times. Other times, it's great. I love my family so much that I cannot even find words to express it, but yeah, there are times when it is seriously nice not to have to be around them. There are some common misconceptions about my family: one, all the girls are gorgeous goody-goods and all the blokes will break your heart as easily as they'll prank the shit out of you. Okay, have you met Rose? Absolutely deserved Head Girl and can be quite prim at times, but even she gets herself involved into a mess at the drop of a hat. Lucy's a bit more obvious - completely batshit mental, especially when you consider her folks. I mean, Uncle Percy considers the thickness of cauldron bottoms to be appropriately scintillating dinner time conversation, and then there's Lucy, who's generally considered more terrifying than Dom. I'm not scared of any of my relatives - unlike my friend Sebastian, who pretends that they're just in love with him when we all know he'd shit himself if most of them managed to get a hold of him when he was naked - but if I had to advise one for people to be scared of, I'd probably choose Luce. Dominique's violent, competitive and aggressive - these are her good points - but all in all, she's lucky and she knows it, somewhere. I like Dominique; it amuses me especially that Seb is scared of her and that Scorpius doesn't like her, especially seeing as his girlfriend lives with her. 'Course, I bicker with her at times - she's very abrasive, can't be helped - but I love her and would not vote her the scariest. That honour belongs to one Lucy May, because she is violent, rude, vaguely misanthropic and just as foul-mouthed as the rest of us, if not fouler, but she's also got things that have caused her to be like this. Other than the Scamanders, I don't think people'd believe anyone who said that Lucy used to follow around Molly and all sorts of adoring little sister stuff, but she did. She doesn't anymore. Luce has dealt with a lot of shit over the years; there was this girl at school who gave her hell, Dianna Grey, I think? Okay, no, I know it's Dianna Grey. I also know that Nikolai Hartley's brother is really his cousin and has been flatting with Moira Finnigan's sister, and that her name is Brigid Finnigan and that Fred had the biggest puppy crush on her in Hogwarts. I remember so many minor details about people, and I'm not entirely sure why; I don't think I've spoken to Moira Finnigan since second year, if that. It's not exactly a fact I broadcast - my memory, that is, not my lack of interaction with Moira Finnigan. For one thing, it makes people remotely uncomfortable, which isn't something that concerns me, but the conclusion they tend to draw - that I find their existence remotely important - is something I would like to avoid, because it's simply not true. I find the existence of many people trivial in relation to my life. I'm sure someone thinks they're a remotely fascinating person, but that person sure as fuck isn't me, and I really don't want to try and get to know them. Besides, if nobody knows quite how much I observe and remember, well, let's just say there are instances when an extensive knowledge of people can prove useful. James, Lily and I are all pretty good at observing things - or at least, more so than we're ever given credit for. I think with James, a lot of people take the whole Gryffindor boy king schtick at face value and don't even consider the fact that the boy named James Sirius Potter could have some depth? Honestly, you want the real mischievous one in the family? Go chat up Louis. And with Lily, I'm fairly certain that a lot of people don't seem to realise she's sixteen. I mean, she's a genuinely good kid and I take great comfort in the idea that she's nothing like I was at sixteen, but that doesn't mean she hasn't grown up. I think a lot of people assume that because she's quiet, she must be really naive and young and in desperate need of protection, which is an utter joke, really. I love Lily, and she's my baby sister, so I'm always going to want to protect her, but she is sixteen years old and I trust her to make her own decisions and to ask me if she needs help, and to know that I'll always be there for her. She might make some mistakes, but she's sixteen years old; when would be a better time? Sometimes I worry about her, but not about anything she's doing; more that people are trying too hard to confine her into this box of ideals they dreamt up for her when she was twelve, and by doing so, they're stifling her chances of living her own life. She's a pretty great kid - don't tell her this, though; I am not James and I do not express my love loudly and frequently - and I would trust her to make her own life choices much more than I might trust some people my own age, their "maturity" and exposure to the "real world" be damned. My year was not very mature. Scorpius and Roxanne had the weirdest, messiest road to romance ever - seriously, I'm a bit surprised they ever got their shit together - and that was probably the most maturity displayed in our year group, and I wouldn't have said that they always dealt with it in the most mature way, but hey, we were in Fifth Year. It's a miracle they made it out of Hogwarts alive. I do admit this, though; they're seriously gone for each other. At first, I was basically in this state of what the fuck because they did not interact pleasantly ever, and then bam, Roxanne's suddenly Scorpius' favourite member of my family. Which wasn't always fun, because I didn't really have anyone during the whole fiasco that was the start of their romance, but he's my best mate and she's my cousin, so I'm glad they're happy. It was just hard at the time, you know? That was the year I really started talking to Ella. Chara Camellia Malfoy is best friends with my cousin Lucy, younger cousin to my other favourite dormmate Sebastian (don't tell him, his ego is already big enough to choke a person), and little sister to Scorpius. She's also a perfectionist that can seriously hold a grudge, but at the same time, she's kind and sweet; I think she has a lot of affection to give, but nobody's really given her the chance. It seems to me like a lot of people have held her at arm's length all her life, and in hindsight, I think I did that to her too. Not at first, of course; we became very good friends that year. You're probably wondering how a fifteen/sixteen year old boy came about becoming friends with a thirteen year old girl, the baby sister of his best mate nonetheless, but honestly, there's not much of a story. I think we were just both kind of alone. The issue with becoming very good friends very quickly with an unrelated pretty girl is that before you know it, the lines of platonic friendship are just begging to be crossed. But fuck, she was thirteen. I turned sixteen in November, and she wouldn't turn fourteen until May. To an extent, I was keeping in mind that she was Scorpius' sister, but not really. She was just Ella in my head, you know? I didn't think of her in relation to anyone else by that point. In reality, I still don't. So it did matter, a little, that she was Scorpius' sister, Seb's little cousin, Lucy's best friend and in Lily's year, but not enough that I would have stopped anything had we been older. Scorpius was ditching me and going gaga over my cousin, for fuck's sake - which I understand, but I was a bit bitter about then. The thing I couldn't get over was that she was just so fragile. I mean, she was strong, too; she was best mates with Luce, for fuck's sake, and could cut someone down like the best of them, but she still seemed so... I don't know, lost? So in hindsight, my reaction to the almost-kiss was really fucking stupid; nearly kiss the girl and then run away and avoid her? Smooth fucking move, Potter. I'll admit - to you, anyway - that I was scared. A lot of it was me not wanting to hurt her because hey, she was my friend, and I did care about her a lot - still do - and she seemed breakable and I was Albus fucking Potter. Even without the tabloids and general stigma of my name and face, I was a bit wild. Straight up, I'm attractive. I'm not Sebastian, I do not go around singing it off of fucking roof tops, but hey, there's a fact; I am a member of an exceptionally attractive family. I don't know how, seeing as most of our parents were skinny gingers with money issues, but there you go. Anyway, I was attractive, I was most definitely not involved with anyone, I was intelligent enough that I could go to parties and still easily get by - though don't let our reputations fool you, Sebastian and I studied the fuck out of our subjects at times - and I was the slightly mysterious Weasley-Potter because in the year full of fucking lunatic relatives I was in, I was the sole boy, the sole Slytherin, and the least well-known. Sure, everyone knew who I was and things about me, but I was a bit more reserved about who I actually wanted to get to know and let to get to know me than some of my other cousins. So, I was at parties. I got drunk, I got snogged, I got laid. None of it meant jack, but in my dorm, our first order of business was never our feelings. That's what Seb had his female friends for. Scorpius was always pretty cold on the actual human emotions front about girls until he met Roxanne, and then he had her, and Teddy, I guess, and by the time feelings were kicking in for me, I had Ella. Which wasn't too fabulous seeing as she was swiftly becoming the object of romantic feelings, but other than those, I could talk to her. I was very adept at ignoring them, anyway, until they were presenting themselves in the form of the opportunity to kiss her and I ran away. Now, I don't really have anyone. I don't want to tell Roxanne because she might tell Scorpius, Dominique would sock me in the arm, Lily is sixteen and despite her maternal tendencies, probably should be allowed to deal with her own life as opposed to dealing with the train wreck my life apparently is, Teddy already deals with Scorpius and can barely deal with himself, Sebastian's a prat, Fred has an infatuation with a Quidditch player that's like three years his senior, Scorpius is out of the question, James is practically a minute older than me and in no better position as far as I can tell, I don't even know what - or who - Molly is currently doing, Lucy is not someone you approach with feelings, Louis is, well, Louis, my parents and aunts and uncles are completely out of the question and Hugo is not exactly a fountain of advice. Which, I believe, leaves Rose, and others that are unrelated to me. Rose got pretty close to James at Hogwarts. They're fairly similar - which is probably why I trust them both a lot - and they were both the sanest relatives of each other in Gryffindor, so it's not surprising. I do miss her, though. James and Lily were the ones I had to get used to not seeing every morning when I woke up, but it was weirdest with Rose, because we saw each other in classes every day but we weren't together. Which was probably good for us, but sometimes I do miss being able to just visit her like that, like I could when we were younger and wanted to talk to someone with decent advice (she was the easy conclusion to come to, seeing as I lived with a young James). Lucy is very loud about being alone. She makes herself quite different. I just... sometimes, I just find myself wondering about slipping away and travelling for a year. I'm not stupid enough to think nobody would notice, but I don't think it would make much of a difference. Maybe to Lily, but I'm not even sure about that. I guess, more than anything, I just want to get rid of this feeling of loneliness that I seem to have, even when I'm in a room full of people from the same gene pool. I liked Hogwarts, because even though we were separate, we were all within a castle's walk from each other and there was always someone around if you wanted, but there were also ways to be alone if you wanted that. I had a purpose there: get high marks (my OWLs and NEWTs were fucking glorious; Roxanne and Rose are meant to be the brainy ones in the family but I'm an easy third - maybe tied with Lil?), be on the Quidditch team (I kicked ass as seeker, though Scorpius got captain, which was a bit gutting, but then I suppose there was a point of time when he'd have been hexed if he tried to waltz into his girlfriend's house, whereas I'd have gotten a hug and food, which I imagine was a bit gutting for him), live my life in the relative safety bubble that was Hogwarts. Sure, sometimes my name'd still wind up in Witch Weekly or something, but on a whole, Hogwarts was safe, removed and a good place for me to grow up and into myself. Now, I'm graduated, and I'm armed with stunning marks and very good flying skills. I'm not going to try out for Quidditch, though. Mum's done that, and now Dom and Fred are, and if I desperately wanted it, that wouldn't be an issue, but I don't. Dominique lives for Quidditch; I do not. I really love history - muggle or wizarding, though I find muggle easier to follow, to be honest, unless w're discussing the war Dad and Voldemort were in; that, I know intimately - but I don't know what I could do with that. My best subjects were Ancient Runes, Transfiguration, Charms, History of Magic and Defence Against the Dark Arts. I was pretty good at Potions, Herbology, Astronomy and Care of Magical Creatures too, but Runes, Transfiguration, Charms, History and DADA were my favourites. I just don't know what to do. I am seriously considering just upping and leaving, but I don't know. As good as I think travel would be for me, I think I'd come back different, so I'm putting that on the back burner as a back up plan for now. Problem is, I still have to come up with a plan to have as a primary one. I'm eighteen years old and the world is at my fingertips; I just don't know quite what to do with so much power. JANE SEVENTEEN GMT +12 |
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