Ricky

[Felicity Jordan]

Ricky what's cunnin cunnilingus love you bye

[Ricky Jordan]

Well, baby sister, aren't you growing up. Is this a hypothetical question or has someone offered to perform it for you?

Cunnilingus is the beautiful art of going down on a girl. 'Going down' in case your innocence hasn't been broken this far, is a euphemism for oral sex. Getting eaten out. Mouth, vagina, feels amazing. Getting the idea, sweetie?

Seriously though, why the question?

xxxx

[Felicity Jordan]

I don't think grown up means the same thing for us that sounds really strange. Is it nice if you're the tongue part?

I heard mum talking about it with some women at the cafe and then I couldn't find anything about it in my books so I guessed it probably wasn't a spell and I asked you. It sounds like a spell anyway.

Love you

[Ricky Jordan]

You're grown up enough to ask what cunnilingus means, small steps. I'm told it's good fun, though I've never tried it (as the tongue part). Being the tongue part on boys is pretty awesome, so I'm sure if you're into girls, being the tongue part on them would be equally awesome.

Ah, you have also stumbled on our mother's willingness to share, you really are growing up. But no, I wouldn't try waving your wand and shouting that one, kiddo. Though you never know, it might get you some!

Love you too, loads and loads!

[Felicity Jordan]

Well if you think it's awesome maybe I will try it. I don't know if I'll do it on a girl or a boy though. Maybe I should find one I fancy first before I eat them or whatever it's called.

Mum overshares I think she just doesn't notice me behind her anymore. Oh also is blowjob the boy version of cunnilingus? (That wasn't mum I heard some seventh years talking about it yesterday) I'm gonna try saying it as a spell though. No one notices if I do magic in the cafe and it sounds fun.

Love you more probably

[Ricky Jordan]

Yeah, you probably should, it could potentially be really shit if you didn't fancy them in any way. Try snogging them first - if that doesn't do anything for you, probably don't try anything else. Also, 'eating out' is generally reserved for doing it to girls (more accurate description when you think about it), as is cunnilingus. Blowjob is the boy version, yes. Very inaccurate description, blowing is not really what it involves.

Let me know if it works, I might try it too!

Doubt it to be honest.

[Felicity Jordan]

Okay, then. Fancy, snog and then cunnilingus. It's also called eating out and blowjobs don't have blowing they have. What do they have instead?

I tried it and I got a lizard! It came in through the window so maybe it's not the spell. Maybe it flies. I'm gonna call it Cunnilingus. Unless it's a girl then I will call it Blowjob because I think that's a cuter name for a girl

Still love you

[Ricky Jordan]

Attagirl, you've got it!

They mostly have sucking. I mean, there's other stuff you can do too, but sucking is a good general place to start. Which is kind of the opposite of blowing, so I don't know what they were on when they named that.

That is kind of amazing, seeing as you like in the middle of the city. Good names though, I like them. You should definitely publicise them.

Good, so I should hope.

[Felicity Jordan]

Okay eating out has licking blowjobs have sucking. Sounds cool! Also strange. Does it taste nice?

Right? I went to show mum and she thought it maybe came in from next door, but when I went to ask he screamed and shut the door so I'm keeping him! (mum says it's a him but she also thought blowjob was a bad name so I'm gonna ask dad just in case)

Keep hoping and bye!

[Ricky Jordan]

See, it's not that difficult, you've got the basics already. No one answer to that, kiddo. Some people like it, some not so much. People taste different anyway, so...

I'm surprised Mum doesn't like Blowjob, tell her from me she should stop being so close-minded. Also if you go near the cafe and Lorcan Scamander is there, tell him our tea date can happen any time he wants.

Have fun playing lizards!

[Felicity Jordan]

Oh right. Just like people look different I guess.

I went and told him and he got really red and bumped his head on the coffee grinder. First I thought he was a bit silly but he helped me with Charms after so I guess he's alright.

I'm having loads of fun with Cunning which is my nickname for the lizard. Lorcan told me he's a sand lizard and definitely a boy. He called him a prize catch and to keep him away from any girl lizards but I expect Cunning would have loads of babies with a girl so I'm gonna try the spell again

[Ricky Jordan]

Something like that, I guess.

He went red? Fabulous.

Good nickname, easy for him to go incognito. I'm not sure that spell is actually a lizard summoning spell, sweetie. Or a spell at all. You should definitely try it where Lorcan can hear you though.

[Felicity Jordan]

I did what you said and he made the funniest face! I drew you a picture here

Anyway he asked me if my sister told me that was a spell and I told him of course not my sister told me it was sticking your tongue in a girl's vagina I was just trying it in case it got me another lizard. He just said Okay in a weird voice and then went away. I thought he got mad but he was laughing. Anyway it didn't work the second time so I guess Cunning must really know how to fly! I'll keep looking for a girl lizard though and if Cunning has babies I'll give them to all my friends. I'll save one for you too if you want, don't worry.

Love you!

[Ricky Jordan]

Adding this to the list of reasons why my little sister is better than anyone else's little sisters. He probably thinks you're slightly insane now, but I'm sure you'll live.

I would love one of your baby lizards, thank you darling.

Also, I'm thinking of coming over for dinner tomorrow, I have the night off. Tell Mum and Dad, will you? Thanks, kiddo!

[Felicity Jordan]

I am better than other people's sisters, aren't I? He said I was a lot like you so I don't think he thinks I'm insane.

I still have to find a girl lizard, but once I do then I'll give you one!

And mum and dad say fine, come before eight cause Mum's shift starts then.