Sebastian

[Albus Potter]

Who's coming to this party? By which I mean, who's coming that I know and could possibly give a damn about? Knowing Chloe's niceness and your ridiculous assumption that everyone's in love with you, you're probably inviting half the wizarding population of England, so a shorter list would be nice, thanks.

I hope you're not expecting a present from Dom - at least, not one generally suited to humankind. If you are, don't hold your breath; wouldn't it be tragic if you died and the world lost your pretty face?

- Al

((ooc: i hope you don't mind! i was thinking this question and nearly asked you ooc but figured al'd want to know, too, so he can work out who to make help him buy chloe a pressie! i'm assuming he'll go with rose, but tbh he'll go with anyone willing that he likes and doesn't have a potential prior commitment to sethie xP but yes he's writing to our resident pretty boy sebby seb okay bye))

[Sebastian Nott]

Albus,

Rude. When writing someone a letter, it's standard procedure to have some sort of greeting at the start, and a couple of questions. A simple "how are you" is terribly effective.

"Could possibly give a damn about". Why is everybody so doom and gloom nowadays? What is this? Is it trendy to dislike everybody else? And, fun fact: I'll be there. You give a damn about me, obviously. And I'm horrendously attractive, so it's not like you'll even notice anyone else.

We could have a private party for two, though, if that's what you really want.

I'd ask her for one but she'd think I was suggesting she sleep with me as a present. Which I would be. But that would end horribly. I don't want to be mauled on my eighteenth birthday thank you. Although she is fit. Bet she'd be wild in bed, too.

Seb

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ooc. - seb's in a weird mood right now i'm sorry?? if al keeps asking he'll answer! also "buy chloe a pressie" iS LITERALLY NO ONE BUYING SEB ANYTHING

[Albus Potter]

Sebastian,

Does anyone ever call you 'Bastian? I feel like it's really similar to Bastard, and could be easy to mix up, so maybe you don't want to suggest that nickname be popularised.

Fine, then - how are you? Missing living with me 24/7, I expect.

I'm not 'doom and gloom', I just don't want to hear about seventy odd kids that I don't know. I reckon it's perfectly reasonable. I hope not; Merlin forbid that Scorpius and I ever be trendy. Anyway, I like people. I like Rose - enough that I live with her, even! - and I like Lily. They're people, and if you suggest otherwise, Rosie's boyfriend will probably bash you on the head with his guitar. He's a bit mental that way, threatening people with a musical instrument.

Yeah, I suppose I could give a damn about you... no, you're right, I do. I know you were fretting there for a second. Probably gave yourself a stress wrinkle too. Sorry for marring your beauty, especially as it's your best feature. My attention being captured by you aside, who else is actually coming that I would happily interact with? Here's a hint: my relatives - and generally, their friends - tend to be acceptable.

Is this your way of telling me that you want my private and undivided attention late at night for your birthday?

Yeah, I don't think Dominique is the relative of mine likely to give you birthday sex. You've probably got a better chance with Louis, to be honest, and I don't think he likes you very much. He won't be coming, will he? Unless Chloe has some secret friendship with him that I never picked up on... and then Ricky won't sleep with you either, because she has standards. Poor Sebby. I'm sure someone is willing to give you birthday sex. I'll ask James, if you like. I distinctly remember an incident when he was dating Cassie, when she told us that apparently it was your dearest wish to have a threesome with them, involving James in a maid's costume.

Al

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ooc: it's fine! and lmao albus isn't friends with chloe yet (like, not really) so he needs help deciding what would be okay to get her HE DOESN'T THINK HE NEEDS HELP FOR SEB OKAY he'll get him something probs

[Sebastian Nott]

Albus,

You've known me for seven years, have you ever heard anyone calling me Bastian? And I think it sounds more like bashful. Or sexy.

I literally don't even know who you are, why are you writing to me?

Whatever, Mister Doom and Gloomy. Wow, two people! Two. First off, congratulations on your maths skills. I'm sure you're proud. Second off, you're related to both of them. Sort of lame. Just saying. And thirdly, I hate that Rose has a boyfriend. Stop talking to me about it. It hurts. We were going to be wed.

Your relatives and their friends? That's everyone in the entire Wizarding World, mate. As in, everyone. And to be honest I just want hot girls there. So you can expect that. There's a vague chance Chloe will be there, but I wouldn't count on it.

Hang on, why did you just automatically assume you were invited?

I just want you for your jawline.

Who's Louis? And what's all this about standards? I set the standard. I am perfection. Th best. Nothing can top this. And anyways, I've already shagged Molly, so ha! I win! And I still dream about your brother in a maid costume. That can be my present. Send him straight to my room. I'll be waiting.

Seb
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ooc. someone please get seb something

[Albus Potter]

Sebastian,

Hey, I don't know what kind of names crop up in the bedroom. For you, that is, and apart from any anecdotes you may have shared over the years. The only similar sound in 'Bastian' and 'bashful' is the 'ba'; bastard has a lot more going for it right now. It desn't sound sexy, it sounds like Bastet, and her entire history is a bit of mess. But hey, you could have a nickname that sounds like an Egyptian cat goddess. I bet you could pull it off.

I knew you missed me. Where are my hugs and kisses? I expected there to be an embarrassing amount that my sister would somehow find and tease me gently about.

I am super proud. Two counts as multiple which classifies as plural thus my people. Fine, I also like Teddy. He's not related to me. I like all my relatives, of course, and I also like your sister and your cousins, usually. I guess I like you sometimes. It's a hard sell, you know, when you're always surrounded by people who share my genes. It's a constant comparison between you and people with brilliant genetics. If you married Rose, I would be related to you guys. That's so many extra relatives. I'm pretty sure Seth is lacking in the extra relatives department - or at least, he doesn't have the whole pureblood family relations or Weasley-Potter thing going on - so he's trumping you, sorry.

Hey, at least we're not counting people that my family's snogged or even just had sex with as well; that'd probably tip the scales beyond how far you could be buggered counting. So what, I should just ask Ricky which girls are hot - she probably has the same taste as you, except higher standards, after all - and assume they're invited? Stellar. I'm counting on it, anyway; I'll get her a birthday present. Are we meant to bring you one too, or is our presence enough?

You can't live without me and my jawline. It seemed obvious.

I just want you for your cheekbones, so I think we're square.

Little Dominique is how I assume would be easiest to introduce him as. He's friends with your cousin. Maybe you set the standard for STI-spreaders, but sorry, pretty boy, you're just not quite up to scratch. Give it a year; maybe read some guides on self-improvement. Wow. You've shagged Molly. Because fucking when you were like thirteen or something totally classifies as a nineteenth birthday present. You've clearly got this.
That is mildly distressing, but I will show him this letter - so he can see how heartfelt your longing is - and see what I can do. I'm sure that's a very comforting notion for him, you waiting in your room for him to show up in a maid costume. He'll be so pleased.

Al

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ooc. albus is just joking, he's definitely getting seb something. he loves the loser.

[Sebastian Nott]

Albus,

Hey, I would be a wonderful Egyptian cat goddess. Total saucy. Any name you can give me will sound sexy, take my word for it.

Hugs and kisses are reserved for people who buy me presents. Awesome presents. If you buy me something great, I'll shower you with affection. Hey, I met your sister!

You always like me. You're just pretending you don't. Playing it cool. It's quite sad, really. If only you could admit your true feelings, we'd all be happier. And, excuse you? If Rose married me, you'd be related to us, which means extra cool points and lots of money, and you could all come over to the manor for cousinly sleepovers. It's a win-win.

Well, we could do. If you wanted. And asking Ricky Jordan about it sounds surprisingly accurate, she'd probably make a good guess at who's hot enough. And yes, you are supposed to get me a gift even better than Chloe's, thank you very much. I don't turn eighteen everyday.

You can't live without me and my tastefully disheveled hair. Deal, motherfucker.

And my cheekbones.

Little Dominique? That sounds terrifying. But kind of hot. Depending how little we're talking. As in, sixteen and over, thanks. But then he's a guy, so I suppose it'd never work. And my eyes are reserved only for James. I'm sure he feels the same way. We have a connection. It's totally legit. And Molly was fantastic, by the way. Just so you know.

Seb

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ooc. this is sO SHIT I'M SORRY

[Albus Potter]

Seb,

Ha. I'm sure you would be; imagine a world where you had a cat head instead of your own. What a beautiful dream. Of course it'll sound sexy, I'm coming up with it. Honestly.

Loser. What if I think it's great? Seeing as my opinion is the most important. Ah, yeah, I heard; what the fuck did you even say to her? She asked me if we had something going on or whether you're just weird.

Keep telling yourself that, pretty boy. "you'd be related to us which means extra cool points" excuse me while I laugh. I am related to Molly and Rose, I don't think I need you for the cool points. Chloe and your Mum might jack up the cool points a bit, though. Maybe even enough to make up for you dragging them down. I'll consider putting a word in for you to Rosie, just for their cool points.

Always. Clearly, my life isn't complete without you. And I totally called that; next time I see her, I'll ask. Even better than Chloe's? What if she deserves it more? Nobody turns eighteen every day, you colossal twat. It's a once-in-a-lifetime sort of thing for everyone.

I can, and I would, if you'd let me shave off your hair to prove it xoxox.

Your cheekbones are all you need, really.

Smaller and male, but Hufflepuff. If I say he's a dwarf, will you think him hotter? He's the year below us, anyway. Same as Damien. And please, you sexually proposition guys all the time; like his possession of dick is the matter right now. Jamesy will be touched. I'll let him know.He probably already does, though, seeing as your connection is totally legit, right? Awh, I'll be sure to send her the review. I hope you didn't give reviews on my relatives' sex lives to my sister, by the way. She's sixteen, so it's not her age; just that nobody should have to hear you talking about how great their family is in the sack. I've been exposed to you for seven years, I'm used to it. I would hope she's not, because fuck, that'd be a bit weird.

Al

ooc. what are you on about it's fine soz for the lateness!