Norah

[Mark Roberts]

Norah,

Which one of your goddamn brothers do I kill for teaching Tommy the f-word?

You know who this is

[Norah O'Banion]

There are a lot of f-words, Mark. Fiasco, fastidious, function, fun, funk, fury, furrow, fault, fecundity, family. . .

You're going to have to be more specific.

Also, sign your letters.

If you didn't have penmanship like a three year-old, I could have easily mistaken you for me Ma.

-Norah

[Mark Roberts]

Got it in nine, the four words Tommy can say are mama, dada, no and fecundity. Seriously, your child nearly gave my mom a heart attack, and now he thinks it's funny, so all I hear is "No! Fuck! Nonono!"

MARK is that legible enough?

[Norah O'Banion]

He's quite clever, isn't he? Fecundity is four syllables, that's up from the two he can normally hit.

So he's my son when he expands his vocabulary? Hm. I don't remember making him by myself. I'm pretty sure you had a hand in his conception. I'm not the Virgin Mary.

Apologise to your mum for me.

Can't quite see it, you should write it a bit bigger. Maybe then it'll look like Mark and not Mmmmmmmk.

love
-Norah

[Mark Roberts]

Ha ha. Maybe I'll teach him "Mommy's the worst," which is also four syllables.

Yeah, of course you're not, I bet the Virgin Mary didn't have any brothers who taught Jesus to swear before he was two.

Oh, I did. She's now on some sort of crusade to make him stop swearing and she keeps giving me these dirty looks.

MARK

[Norah O'Banion]

'Dada, arsehat' that's four, too. And technically arse means nothing in the states, so!

How do you know that, Mary could have had an older brother that taught Jesus to swear like a sailor - a fact which is so conveniently eliminated from the bible. We'll never know. And honestly, there's a few times that I can remember you using such colourful language. What makes you think me brothers are the culprit? though it was probably Aidan on accident Don't get me started on Aunt Lindsay's mouth, either.

Awe, poor baby, mummy is throwing daggers at him. Do you need me to kiss your bruised ego? oi, that sounds slightly sexual. i didn't mean it like Give Abby my love, and let her know that I miss her!

Now it actually looks like your name! Good job.

-Norah

[Mark Roberts]

Nice try, O' Banion. I don't even think you would fall for that one.

Well, if we're going there, maybe Mary had houseful of loud, foulmouthed younger brothers, too, and unless Aunt Lindsay admits anything, I'm gonna keep blaming them (and it's not me - I've been trying so hard to avoid cursing, I keep saying really weird things instead. I said funambulist instead of fuck yesterday. It's getting really bad.)

I really don't think you should be kissing anything My ego is not bruised, more like my dessert benefits - now that mom's angry at me, I'm not allowed to have a second slice of pie at dessert. Mom does miss you and she's not the only one.

You're lucky we already broke up, or I'd Haha, very funny.

Mark

[Norah O'Banion]

Look at those chunky cheeks and those brown curls and tell me you wouldn't fall for it.

I beg your pardon, Conan is not foulmouthed in the slightest. Aidan yes maybe, but Craig is still terrified of my ma to use curse words - around me or Ma. And it could have quite possibly been my Pa, too. Funambulsit? Creative. I like to use Sonofamunchkin, makes Tommy giggle for some reason.

Oh, poor Markie; can't have Abby's famous apple crumb pie? You know, being refused a second slice is probably a good thing. You're getting up there in age. One minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips; Lindsay taught me that. Though I don't think it'd possible for you to not look good, even after ingesting an entire pie what are you scratching out

I'm utterly hilarious. One of the many reasons you love me.

love,
Norah