Varun

[Leo Robins]

Varun, mate, what's new? Feels like it's been a lifetime since I saw you, though it's only been, what, a couple weeks? A month? We should hang out again soon, though.

What have you been up to? How's work and your family? How old's your little sister again? Mine's already out of Hogwarts, which is ridiculous, but hey. That's life, I guess.

Leo

[Varun Sharma]

Leo,

I really have no idea how to keep track of time, so I’ll trust you on it having been a couple weeks to a month. If it’s been longer than a month, we seriously need to re-evaluate our lives, mate, because that’s just unacceptable. Or you re-evaluate, and I sit and watch, because I’m too lazy to change anything about myself now.

Everything’s pretty much the same as when we last talked. Nothing new to report. I need some excitement in my life, as it’s edging dangerously to the boring side. Translation: we need to do something soon. Speaking of boring, do you reckon we peaked in our Hogwarts years? I think we may have peaked in those days and our lives are sort of dulled out now, unless you can provide some evidence to the contrary, of course.

My sister is fourteen now, which is honestly ridiculous, and I don’t know how you cope with yours having graduated. Like I said, I don’t know what happens with the whole time thing. I want to go back to when she was at the nice age of seven, partly because she was a lot cuter and nowhere near her teenage or even pre-teenage phase then, but mostly because that would make me thirteen, an age at which I had little to no responsibility. You know how it goes.

Varun

[Leo Robins]

Varun,

Mate, you need to learn math. I told you that you should have taken Arithmancy when we were in school. Guess it's too late now. Anyway, fine, I'll re-evalute for you. We need to hang out in t-minus one week, got it?

We ought to hit up some pubs, get your blood pumping again. Maybe we could do a pub crawl, like back in our hazy post-graduate glory days? And nah, I think our best days are ahead of us. We're gonna meet some pretty girls - or lots of pretty girls - and settle down and get married, the whole shebang. It'll be great. Hogwarts was nothing. This is the real world.

Fourteen, man, she's a baby, wow. My brother is already in his last year of Hogwarts, Jesus fuck. Yeah, thirteen was such a nice age. I got my first kiss at thirteen, did I tell you that? You were only a little second year then, so I wouldn't have been seen hanging out with you, but yeah. Good times, man, good times.

Leo

[Varun Sharma]

Leo,

I know enough math to get by. If I could go back in time to re-do my Hogwarts years, I would still do absolutely anything other than take Arithmancy, so let’s not even go there. Within the next week is cool with me, though I'm telling you now that you’ll have to write the day of to remind me, otherwise I can’t make any promises about actually showing up.

Oh, to return to the post-graduation pub crawls when we thought nothing could ever bring us down… You know what’s bringing me down lately? Work. So much damn effort, and I feel like every day is just one big struggle. Do you not get that sometimes? Like what are we even working towards, mate? Well, if you decide to be an idiot and get married, I’ll be here for your bachelor party. That’s all I’m going to say. But speaking of pretty girls, you'll have to fill me in on what you've been up to lately - or more accurately, who. You always manage to have a good story or two.

I know, don’t remind me. How do younger siblings do that thing where they get older so fast? Now I feel and sound old, what is even happening? Wait, someone was willing to kiss you when you were thirteen? I’m laughing a lot at the thought. I was cooler than all the other second-years, and you know it.

Varun

[Leo Robins]

Varun,

Come on, I'm pretty sure I lost my virginity by impressing Jenny whatever-her-last-name-was at Arithmancy. It can come in handy! She wouldn't have given me a second glance otherwise, I'm pretty sure. But fine, whatever, I'll send you a note whenever I'm free to make extra-certain you won't ditch me.

Yeah, and then we had to actually get jobs and shit. Though, I think I got lucky. Work's a bore, but I get free chocolates out of it, which is nice. I believe we're working towards life fulfillment, though possibly I've been reading too many of the old philosophy books laying around my house. Who says you'd be invited to my bachelor party? Maybe I'll have it without you. Ah, I actually met this girl at the Tamarisk Tree the other day, and she was pretty cute, though a bit young. Still in Hogwarts, actually. But she was cool, and I gave her my address so maybe she'll write to me. I'll keep you updated.

Why do younger siblings do anything, to be honest? My life would be so much easier if my siblings would just...not do things. Ever. At least Cassie's graduated, which makes me feel slightly less old. Or, maybe now we're both old. Damn it. Yeah, actually, though fuck if I remember her name. Which probably says something about the kiss... you weren't that cool, though. Don't flatter yourself.

Leo

[Varun Sharma]

Leo,

Oh yeah, it must have been the Arithmancy that got her to sleep with you in the end. Obviously. You’re an idiot. Sounds like a plan! Come to think of it, I’ve actually missed your ridiculous pretty boy face.

Life fulfillment? I hope you’re joking. I find myself needing a drink just from reading your letters, and that’s not a compliment. Come on, there would be no bachelor party without me there, we both know that. Wait, just how young is she? Are you getting desperate and therefore going for girls still in Hogwarts, mate? Because if so, I’m slightly concerned. Do you know if she has any cute friends? Considering I’m a year younger than you and all.

I feel the same way. They’re so - I have no words. How’s your brother doing, though? Isn’t he still at school? I was the coolest, let’s not even have this argument right now because a) you’ll lose and b) I can’t be bothered to debate my level of coolness to someone who won’t even understand. That, and it would involve effort, and I’m already exerting enough of that simply by replying to your letters. Feel special.

Varun

[Leo Robins]

Varun,

Yeah, an idiot who happens to get laid. Say, when was the last time you managed that? Gosh, thanks, mate, my pretty face and I greatly appreciate your missing us. Don't think I'm going to let you live that down, either.

I wish I was joking. My grandpa was an odd bloke. Yeah, well, that still doesn't mean I have to invite you to the party. Uh, she's seventeen. Which isn't...too bad. She's of age, at least. Way to be subtle, though. She has friends, but I've obviously never met them, so I can't help you there. Find your own damn Hogwarts girls to flirt with.

My brother is...my brother. Always getting into trouble, you know him. Yeah, he'll be a seventh year, which, well, god save us all once he graduates. You were in school with him longer than I was, you know what I'm talking about. I'm ignoring all the effort you wasted telling me about how you're not going to argue with me just to rub it in your face. I am special, thanks.

Leo