promise i've been drinking only lemonade [astraia]

[Julian Delaire]

Julian wasn't entirely sure how he ended up kissing Astraia Yaxley on her canopy bed, but here he was. It was late in the evening, and maybe it was the full moon filtering light through her window, or maybe it was the fact that they'd been working on this stupid joint summer essay project for hours, and maybe it was also because she was pretty and warm at his side and they'd been laughing and somehow, he'd ended up here.

Which was not, all considered, a bad position to be. Astraia was incredibly pretty, there was no denying that, and she was exactly his type, too, all long dark hair and pretty eyes and the softest touch when her hand was on his skin. Plus, she was being receptive, possibly because she was experiencing the same confusing mess of emotions as him, and the kiss was rather nice -- sloppy, at first, but getting better as they got used to each other. He only hoped he wasn't making too many embarrassing mistakes, given that it was his first time kissing a girl (which was, in a word, ridiculous, especially since his best friend had already had sex, which was also ridiculous, in Julian's opinion).

Speaking of Caleb, his mind wandered to half the reason he'd ended up leaning over and just pressing his lips to Astraia's when the moment presented itself. Perhaps if he hadn't been being teased so thoroughly about a completely non-existent crush on Ainsley Rickett, he might not have been so tempted to leap at the opportunity to kiss a girl who seemed so different to Ainsley on the surface. Not that this was Caleb's fault. Not that this was anyone's fault but his own.

Looking down at Astraia after pulling apart to breathe, he found himself absurdly nervous. "Are you -- are you sure?" he asked, a little out of breath, not even entirely certain what he was asking her. "Um, I mean -- we can stop," he added hastily, a little distracted by her smudged lip gloss and how he kind of wanted to kiss her again. "If you want. Or...we don't have to. I mean. It's up to you."

God, he was such a fucking idiot. Hopefully she wouldn't just kick him out of her bed. Hopefully he hadn't just ruined everything. Astraia had been his classmate for five years, and she was pretty much the only Slytherin in his year he could even tolerate. And she was pretty. And the kisses were nice. Really nice.

Fuck.

[Astraia Yaxley]

If you asked Astraia how she'd ended up in this situation, she'd be hard-pressed to provide you with an answer. She wasn't even sure why the project was taking so long; after all, she and Julian were both intelligent students, and had they been in their common room, they could have churned out an O-standard project within a few hours. She had a suspicious feeling that it was due to the bickering and banter that they'd filled her room with over the few hours they'd been holed up inside. There was also the slightest chance, she admitted to herself, that it was also due to the fact that Julian was attractive and they had been talking for hours, their words getting edgier as the space between them had lessened and then the moon had been streaming in from her window and then suddenly he was kissing her.

His hair was as soft as she'd always imagined it'd be - not that she ever consciously imagined running her hands through it, of course, but a subconscious assumption - and the way his skin felt like soft fire beneath her fingers was an experience she was swiftly discovering she enjoyed. The kiss had started off a bit harsh - there was an undercurrent of urgency in it - and then softened quickly, before they eventually fell into some sort of rhythm, her lips moving below his in a way that felt more smooth, more natural. She didn't actually have anything to compare it against; despite a few boys' best efforts, she had resolutely refused to kiss just any idiot, but somewhere along the way she had turned sixteen - nearly seventeen, even - and the need to press her lips to someone else's had become overwhelming, so when she had found Julian's lips upon hers, she had responded instinctively, driven by something other than her mental capabilities.

Her lips were surrounded by warmth and pressure and then all of a sudden - it was gone. Looking up at Julian, barely registering that she could actually breathe like a human was meant to, she took note of the look in his eyes, the slight uncertainty splayed on his features. Quirking an eyebrow at his words, barely sure of what he was asking her, she let out an involuntary breathy sigh and flicked out her tongue to run over her bottom lip slightly, feeling the space that had just been covered by another person's mouth. "I-" she began, before stopping and trying to steady herself. "Do you want to?" she asked, suddenly doubtful. She thought he was into it, especially with the nervousness he seemed to be radiating, but one could never be too sure. She bit her lip, training her eyes on his, before flicking down to his lips and back to his eyes. "I like the idea of not stopping," she admittedly quietly, feeling the rate of her breathing increase and her heartbeat speed up slightly.

Astraia desperately didn't want to lose this kinship she had with Julian - there weren't a lot of people she could deal with regularly, and he was one of them - but right at that moment, she wasn't entirely capable of thinking about what this could all mean: she knew that no matter what, she wanted to be able to have him to go to for all the things she always had, and as such, it never occurred to her how she would deal with the aftermath of whatever this was, let alone how he would. All she could think about was how beautiful he looked in that moment with his eyes asking for permission and his breath coming short.

[Julian Delaire]

There was something electric about lying in a bed with a pretty girl and having her look up at you and say she wants to keep going. Julian had never been in a position like this before, he found himself rather enjoying it. Her breaths quickened, ghosting over his cheeks in a haze of something that smelled really nice and fruity. He was pretty sure his own breathing was messed up by this point, too, but he didn't exactly care to take a break to regain his composure. Not when he was already here, every part of his body pressed up against Astraia, and her lips so close to his.

"I do want to," he murmured, so close he could practically brush his mouth against hers again. She was here, she was pretty, she wanted this as much as he did, and, well - it's not like he had any girls lined up, anyway. Pushing the thought of a certain pretty dark-haired Gryffindor girl out of his mind, because he was fairly certain he wasn't supposed to be thinking of other girls when making out with one, he leaned down to kiss her again. This time, both of them were a fair bit more experienced than they had been when they'd started, and he found his mouth fitting nicely against hers. She tasted sweet, and the kiss was far less wet this time.

Absently, he ran one hand through her hair and tangled it into her curls, running his fingers over the soft strands. This was nice, the part of his brain that was still working semi-properly mused. This was really nice. He let himself relax a little more, stretching out on the bed and tilting his head to gain better access to her mouth.

Caleb was so going to hit him. Julian smiled into Astraia's mouth and let his other hand travel down her side to far more dangerous territories. Yeah, he was definitely going to hit him. Thank god her brothers weren't home.

[Astraia Yaxley]

Astraia hadn't even realised she'd been holding her breath until Julian affirmed that he wanted to keep going. A relieved gasp of very quiet laughter burst from her mouth, her lips pulling into a wide, sweet smile, which only became more genuine as she basically felt him speaking against her lips. Astraia wasn't romantically interested in anybody, but when she looked into Julian's eyes and thought about kissing him, she wondered if maybe she should be; it was just so liberating, as utterly terrifying and thrilling it was. Wryly, she thought that maybe she could understand Kieran's track record now, if kissing could feel like this.

When Julian's lips found hers again, she moulded against him, finding that it felt easier now. The kiss was less sloppy, now that they'd both seemed to work out what to do with their mouths and how to press them against each other. A thrill went through her stomach at the feeling of Julian's hands running through her hair. She imagined what they must look like, on her bed, him leaning over her, his long white fingers starkly contrasted by the dark locks he was twining around his fingers... something shuddered within her, and Astraia angled her head slightly, all of a sudden wanting slightly more.

When she felt his hand moving down her body, her eyes snapped up to meet his. She'd never been kissed before, much less touched - other than maybe a few idiots at parties who ended up getting themselves hexed, that is - so it was a very new experience for her, but after half beat, she relaxed into his touch, allowing it. Her permission was written in her eyes, and she hesitantly stroked his chest through his shirt, her curiosity about his body sparked by his starting exploration of hers.

[Julian Delaire]

Astraia's smile, as bright and happy as it was, gave Julian a much-needed surge of confidence while he was kissing her. Knowing she wanted him was one thing, feeling her move her lips against his in assurance of how much she wanted him was a whole other thing. There was a part of his brain that warned him this was probably a bad idea in the long-term, because he and Astraia were classmates, they had to see each other every day, and she certainly wasn't interested in a proper relationship with him, as far as he knew, so how exactly was this going to shake out after tonight? God, was he going to have to stay the night?  He couldn't do that, his mother would flip. How far were they even willing to go? What did Astraia expect -- 

The less sane part of his brain shut those thoughts off and resumed kissing her with an air of urgency that almost concerned him. Kissing her was like chugging water after spending a whole day in the hot sun, like a breath of fresh air after sitting in the dungeons for too long. It was refreshing and interesting and it was his first time and, okay, so it wasn't perfect, but it was still really fucking nice.

Hesitantly, spurred on by the confidence she had given him with her reactions, he let his hand slide up underneath her shirt, still slow and steady to give her a chance to stop him. Her skin was soft and cool beneath his hand, and by the time she was touching his chest, he was already filled with the urge to rid himself of the obstacles to her touch.

"You can take it off, you know," he murmured, voice huskier than normal, into her ear as his lips wandered over her face and down her neck. Was he doing this right? He hoped so. His hand on her skin moved higher up as he finally relaxed on the bed and brought his mouth back to hers for another kiss.

[Astraia Yaxley]

Some part of Astraia was terrified. She'd never done anything like this before, and all of a sudden, Julian—as in Julian, who she studied with in the common room sometimes, who barely liked anyone and yet somehow seemed tolerant of Astraia's existence, Julian who was now slowly stroking the skin beneath her shirt—was kissing her and lying on top of her and placing his hands on skin that she'd never allowed to be touched before—

The touch was making her shiver, but due to the unforeseen sensations that his fingers ghosting over her skin led to, not from any sort of horror. She tried to steady her breathing, but her heart was pounding all around her head, making it hard for her to think, let alone control anything.

At his words, she bit her lip, feeling his words on her skin as much as she heard them, due to their close proximity. Slowly, she started unbuttoning his shirt, her fingers fumbling on the first clasp due to all her trembling. Astraia took a breath and steadied herself, before his lips captured hers in another kiss. For some baffling reason, this seemed to calm her, and her hands were much steadier now, smoothly working through his buttons. Astraia ran her small hands softly down his chest, tracing patterns into his skin. Releasing her mouth from his, she shyly pecked a few kisses over his collar bone, overcome by some desire to taste his skin, and looked up at him through her eyelashes, biting her lip, unsure if that was okay.

[Julian Delaire]

For all he'd envisioned his first time kissing or going further with a girl, Julian certainly hadn't expected it to be Astraia Yaxley, no matter how pretty she was. And yet, here he was, kissing her, sliding his hand up her shirt, and maybe a part of him knew he ought to stop, ought to regret what was happening, but in the moment itself, it felt far too nice to care about the future downsides. He spared a brief moment of thought to how Caleb was going to react when he told him -- oh, he was going to be pissed -- and of how certain other people might react -- that was even worse to think about -- and then refocused his attention on Astraia as fully as he could.

"Here," he whispered in between kisses and shrugged out his now-unbuttoned shirt, giving her full access to his bare chest. He knew he wasn't exactly bad-looking, despite how much Caleb teased him about never getting some, but getting this sort of attention from a girl was on a whole other level from knowing girls were -- or would be, if he gave them the chance -- attracted to him. Her touch and her kisses were almost feather-light on his skin, and he could still see some trepidation in her eyes when he opened his own to look at her.

"Let me know if you want to slow down," he told her, because his mother had definitely raised him with enough manners for this, "or stop," he added as an afterthought, and then carefully trailed his other hand down her side to the hem of her shirt and tugged it upwards with the intention of pulling it off. He hadn't exactly planned to end up half-naked in bed with Astraia tonight, but it was happening, and he wasn't exactly about to stop it, either.

[Astraia Yaxley]

When Julian took off his shirt, the breath in Astraia's throat hitched and she murmured in appreciation. She'd always known Julian had an attractive face—something she noticed with an appreciation of beauty, not form; she had never really been attracted to people, always considering beauty as an abstraction, not an attraction. Well, until now, she supposed, though a small part of her suggested that what they were doing wasn't due to any particular attraction to one another, as much as that defied what people had always said about sex to her—but she'd never really considered that his body could be just as beautiful. Touching his skin felt like discovering a new world.

"No, it—it's fine," she said, her voice huskier than usual. She licked her lips, smiling softly at his afterthought—as much as she was in favour of not stopping, she appreciated the option—before realising he was tugging at her shirt. Astraia shifted into a more upright position and raised her arms, helping him peel off her shirt until she was before him, only in her bra and dark shorts.

Astraia had never been in this position before; not even pertaining to her half-nakedness, but simply sitting in front of a boy with nothing but some sort of thrill running through her. Something about being in just her bra and some shorts that seemed much smaller now both enthralled her and made her unspeakably nervous. She was used to not feeling wanted, and by having that as her shield, not needing anyone's approval—this, though, this was uncharted territory and she had no idea how to be brave about this, how to work out what was the right thing to do.

So she gathered up all her courage, and focussed on what she'd heard the girls talking about and what Kieran had mentioned to her—because Kol was her best friend ever, and she'd tell him about this, no doubt, but that didn't mean she wanted to ask her brother anything to do with sex on a general basis—and leaned forward, kissing him on the lips and hooking her fingers into both his trousers and underwear, both as a way to bring him slightly closer, and to silently ask him what he wanted to do from here. She was pretty sure that it was obvious that neither of them were entirely in control of their full mental facilities right now, and that hormones were probably as much to blame as the atmosphere of the room and their banter, so she couldn't help the rising adrenaline in her chest and was hoping Julian felt it too.

[Julian Delaire]

"Okay," Julian found himself murmuring, a little distracted by the sight of her shirtless as he trailed kisses down her body. With both of them half-naked, the air was suddenly charged with a different sort of electricity, one that hummed beneath his fingertips as he ran them down her bare skin and pounded in his heartbeats as he pulled back up for one more long, deep kiss.

It was getting a lot harder to deny her now that they were so far into whatever it was they were doing, so Julian brought one hand up to cup her face as he peppered kisses down her neck. "Go ahead," he told her when her fingers curled around his waistband, closing his eyes and letting himself sink into the next kiss, wanting to lose himself in what was happening. Slowly, his free hand found its way around her back to unclasp her bra just before he kissed her again.

-- fade to black --

[Astraia Yaxley]

Lying on her back, Astraia found her heart beating at a mile a minute. She felt a little dazed. She wasn't used to such close proximity with anyone she wasn't related to or hadn't been friends for years, let alone in this state of dress, after doing anything like that. The areas where her skin was touching Julian's felt hot to the point of being unbearable, like it was burning a brand into her skin that she could never erase, but she was smart enough to realise that reaction was probably just a mix of adrenaline and hormones.

Adrenaline and hormones, she thought to herself, snorting internally. That sounds like the recipe for this whole situation. She took a deep breath; Astraia just couldn't believe she'd just had sex. Two hours ago, she'd never even kissed a boy, and now... well, now she wasn't sure where she stood with a guy that was one of the only people she could be comfortable around in her common room; she was certain they couldn't go back to being exactly how they were, now that they knew what each other tasted like, felt like, sounded like in such intimate circumstances, but the logical progression from something so physical was not somewhere she intended for them to go, be it fighting, casual hook ups, or dating. She rather hoped it would lead to something more on the friendship spectrum than on the avoid-forever spectrum, because that would be very unpleasant, but Astraia was bracing herself for whatever would be thrown at her.

Turning on her side, her eyes travelled across his face and met his eyes. "Hey," she said softly, her voice still a wee bit breathless. "I, uh," she muttered, uncharacteristically searching for words. "Hang on—" she said, louder and a bit more concernedly, "didn't you say you had to be home soon?" It was a few hours ago, and the kind of soon that sort of meant before it was too late but not too soon, but glancing at the time and the darkness of the night, Astraia had a feeling now was probably his last chance to leave and remain unscathed by any looks from his mother, though even now could be pushing it.

"Do you want to use the floo?" she asked, slinking out of the bed. She felt oddly naked—well, she was naked, but considering just how interactive Julian had been with her nakedness not too long ago, it shouldn't have felt quite as vulnerable as it did—so she pulled on her robe and threw Julian's clothes at him, collecting them as she made her way to the fireplace. Setting it up to take him and bringing the floo pot forward, she waited for him to get dressed. "It's been nice to see you," she murmured once he'd finally come before he. It wasn't just talking about the sex—though despite the misgivings that were starting to cloud her head a bit, mainly due to concerns about the aftermath, that had been good—but just the camaraderie that she'd felt as they worked on the project, the banter and the shared sentiment of being fed up with the project. It had felt a lot like being proper friends, and she'd enjoyed that haven.

ooc. she's holding the floo pot in case it wasn't clear so he can just respond to all that and leave how we discussed yeah?

[Julian Delaire]

Quite honestly, Julian was feeling too relaxed to move. He knew he probably ought to be freaking out at least a little because holy shit, he'd just lost his virginity, but despite it being a little awkward it was, overall, a very nice experience and though Astraia perhaps hadn't been his first choice, he couldn't deny enjoying it. His hands were splayed out on her bare stomach, contentedly drawing patterns until she broke the silence.

"Oh, right," he sighed, running a hand through his hair and messing it up even more as he sat up straight. "Mum's gonna wonder if I was actually out at a bar or something if it's too late," he muttered, mostly to himself, as Astraia left his side, leaving his decidedly colder than he had been when she was in his arms, and began pulling on his clothes. "Uh, we should -- yeah, I -- " He stopped himself out of frustration as he pulled his jeans on, sitting on her bed, still without a shirt, and trying to come up with words to say he didn't regret what had happened. He couldn't find them, though. "Yeah, I'll Floo home," he managed finally, tugging his shirt on and offering her a half-smile as he stood to find his shoes.

"Thanks for...having me," he said, a little awkwardly once he was fully dressed and armed with the Floo powder. "I -- it was -- I'll see you," he finished, and tossed the powder into the flames. He didn't look back at her before he jumped in, too nervous to see her now that the moment had passed and they had to figure out where to go from here. Instead, he left for his own house, hands already itching to tell Caleb, which, in hindsight, probably wasn't the smartest decision he could make.