Jack

[Emily Marsdon]

Is it normal to get letters from your old students after they've left school? I'm pretty sure I never wrote to any of my old teachers. Or to anyone at all actually.

I'm also bored. I miss school. I never thought I'd say that. Tell me an interesting story.

Love Emily

[Jack Hewer]

I'm heartbroken that getting one is a strange event for you. I get a lot. So ha. I like hearing how they're getting along, you know? Knowing they're successful and not in prison or something, which frankly is a miracle in some cases.

I do too in all honesty. My house just seems so quiet, it's unnatural.

I don't think anything that exciting has happened to me - I do so little in the summer it's frankly pathetic. Tell me something exciting about you. Wedding preparations! Tell me about those!

Love Jack

[Emily Marsdon]

Your students obviously believe you have no friends and feel sorry for you. I'd be impressed if this one had got into prison already though, he only finished the other week.

Don't you have a little sister and a million brothers? Can't they entertain you?

Wow, you really are a boring old fart, aren't you? I have spent a lot of quality time with my boyfriend, I have thought about getting a new tattoo, am considering a few small changes to my teaching curriculum, and the other night I got very drunk. What are wedding preparations?

Love Emily

[Jack Hewer]

No, it's because they love, cherish, and miss me. Obviously. Yours just don't care at all that you're not in their lives anymore, clearly. You'd be surprised what some of our students are capable of, honestly. I hate to say it but some of the Gryffindor girls that just graduated - I'm pretty sure one of them at least is going to something fairly catastrophic, either to themselves by accident or somebody else on purpose. They were hilarious but faintly terrifying en masse.

I do but since my little sister lives with me I'm terrified of boring her or being uncool and irritating her, and of my three brothers one doesn't want to see the rest of us, one has practically vanished off the face of this Earth, and the other has lots of friends to hang out with. So I'm left here all alone. Poor little me.

I basically am, yeah. Stop teasing me and do something about it. I'm not saying anything about the tattoo, except that I know a guy who got one that went green around the edges and he had to get it removed through a very painful spell. So think about that.

Aren't you getting married soon? I thought you were engaged. I have definitely had a drunken conversation with Digger that involved the word "engagement" at some point or another. Maybe I'm just getting senile. Or you're deliberately confusing me. I think the odds are fairly even right now.

Love Jack

[Emily Marsdon]

Of course they do. Keep telling yourself that.

That's probably what my teachers said about me, and now look at me.

You are probably vastly uncool, and she probably finds you both boring and irritating at times, but I'm sure she loves you anyway. That's sort of both of your jobs, and she always seems perfectly fine and non-irritated whenever I've seen her. You're welcome to come to dinner some time though. Digger will be here (in case you mistakenly think I'm asking you on a romantic date) and you'd be welcome to bring Lissie, although she might find it a bit weird having dinner with three of her teachers.

Hm. I thought about what you said, for about two seconds, then decided to ignore it. My tattoo artist is very reputable and I've never had any problems, so I think I'll be fine.

Oh yeah, I think I remember him saying something about that to me as well at some point. Now I remember why I'm wearing this rather nice ring on my finger. I'm not sure how you define 'soon' though, as Digger and I haven't defined it ourselves yet.

Love Emily

[Jack Hewer]

I will. You keep pretending it does hurt that they all care more about me than about you. I was invited for dinner by some of the girls that left last year. So there.

Well, I hope so. I'm glad she's not complaining about me behind my back, anyway - she's far too nice to tell me if she's embarrassed by me to my face, so it's reassuring she's not letting it slip to you if she is. I would love to come for dinner, actually, so long as you promise not to make me into a third wheel. And I'll extend the invitation to Liss, but I think you're right - plus, we'd have to watch ourselves and not gossip about other staff or students, which is much harder when wine is involved.

Well, good luck. Don't say I didn't warn you.

You two are useless. How the hell did you even get it together enough to get engaged in the first place? For Merlin's sake.

Love Jack

[Emily Marsdon]

Dinner? Are you sure that's what they're inviting you to? Which girls?

Well, if Lissie's complaining about you, she certainly isn't doing it to me. Seriously, I think you worry too much. Is that a side effect of getting old? I promise you won't be a third wheel. I mean, you know, we might sit very close to each other and gaze into each other's eyes over the pudding, and possibly feed each other, but apart from that you should be fine. (I'm joking, in case you didn't realise. We won't do any of those things.)

And you're right, you'd better send her out with her friends instead. I want to be able to gossip.

Did I never tell you the hilarious story of how Digger accidentally proposed to me in my classroom between lessons, and then was so mortified that he ran away and avoided me, so that I had to accept his proposal by letter? Because that is the story of how we got it together enough to get engaged in the first place. Will it make you feel better if I ask you to be a bridesmaid?

Love Emily

[Jack Hewer]

Well dinner was what it said in the letter, so I think it's reasonable to assume that's what they've got planned, don't you? The Gryffindor gaggle who left last year - Cassie Lewis, Dominique Weasley, Ricky Jordan, etcetera. You're just jealous I was invited and you weren't.

I do worry too much. I'm a big brother to four younger siblings and a Head of House at a school where there is potential for catastrophic magical accidents on a daily basis. I'd have to be an idiot not to worry all the time. I should bloody well hope not, too. You pull any of that stuff and I'll leave.

I will, then, sounds like the best course of action.

You know, I hadn't heard that story before, but somehow I'm not even a little bit surprised. I feel like you guys will only actually get married if you trip into a white dress and some freak weather system picks you both up and carries you to a church and plonks you down in front of a priest and witnesses who have been bribed by concerned friends to perform the ceremony hurriedly. I can't see you getting your shit together enough otherwise. I would feel much better, but I'd still turn you down, sorry. I'd look lovely in a dress but I have a reputation to maintain.

Love Jack

[Emily Marsdon]

Oh yes, I know them. Ricky's sister wrote to me, actually. But knowing that group, I'm sure that a nice civilised dinner is exactly up their street. Have fun!

Wow, I'm glad I'm not you. Your life sounds terrible. I'll find you a girlfriend to cheer you up.

It's a good story, especially because it makes Digger look more inept than me. White dress, shite mess. I'm not planning on wearing one. Also, you're starting to sound a teensy bit like my mum, with all this worry about my wedding. You should watch that. Although if you boys take Digger out on a stag night, I want a photograph of him in his underwear, wearing L-plates. Just so you know in advance.

Will you be a bridesmaid at my wedding, Jack? (There, you said it would make you feel better.)

Love Emily