DEV

[Devyn Oberlin]

I am not obsessed with you. You wish.

No, you stop making me laugh, because I haven’t ever wanted you, it’s actually the other way around. I’m being more serious than you are and I’m honestly offended that you don’t believe me. I’ll have to prove you wrong sometime. It’s the only way to get you to shut up.

Excellent observation skills. You deserve awards.

I DIDN’T SHAG JORDAN. How many times do I have to say it for you to believe me? You’re so fucking irritating.

Devyn

[Damien Malfoy]

Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Prove it to me? Prove me wrong? HA. You'll do nothing but prove me right. Watch. YOU want ME. Just admit it. Also, do I ever shut up?

I take cash, weed, and alcohol.

I'm irritating? You couldn't live without me. But I'll have to ask Jordan the details since you won't give them to me.

-Dao

[Devyn Oberlin]

What a fantastic joke. The quality of your sense of humor continues to astonish me.

We'll see about that. As always, I'm right and you're wrong.

Too bad I don't care.

I've done just fine without you this past week, actually. SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE THE LAST TIME I WAS THERE. Don't bother asking her anything.

Devyn

[Damien Malfoy]

I know, just try to wrap your pretty little head around my intimidating wit. Alright?

No. You've got that wrong. I'm right, you're wrong. Point proven. Get over it.

So, how does your heart beat when the ice pump isn't in it?

Apparently not. You shagged Jordan in my absence. Were you projecting your sexual frustration of not being able to have me on Jordan? Is that why you jumped her bones. Since you don't want to go in there and all.

Dao

[Devyn Oberlin]

There's not much to wrap my head around. You're far from witty and the little wit you do have isn't intimidating at all. You're welcome in advance.

The point isn't proven until it's actually proven. Let's not jump to conclusions, now. You're just scared that you're going to be wrong.

Depends on the situation. I have a really special heart, in case you haven't noticed.

You know what? Fuck you. I actually had sex with Lorcan Scamander. Happy now?

Devyn

[Damien Malfoy]

The rest of this exchange has been voided by your sudden confession.

Scamander? Lorcan Scamander? The twins in my brother's year? The guy who was always rambling off about some type of creature or something like that?

Nature boy? You had sex with nature boy?

You love your Hufflepuffs, don't you?

I still think you're hiding your love for Jordan behind Scamander, but seriously. What'd you do, shag nature boy on a table and it not go how you wanted so now you're avoiding him and his lizard? hahahahaha.

-Dao

[Devyn Oberlin]

Yeah, that's the one. And for your information, it was good sex.

Devyn

[Damien Malfoy]

So you really fucked nature boy, I'm now deeming you nature girl by proxy. Don't go seducing any house elves.

-Dao

[Devyn Oberlin]

Whatever. I'll try my best.

Devyn

[Damien Malfoy]

So, which Hufflepuff was better? Louis or Scamander?

-Dao

[Devyn Oberlin]

Wouldn't you like to know?

Devyn

[Damien Malfoy]

Well, it'd be nice to know whose body you were doing when you were fantasizing about me. Just saying.

-Dao

[Devyn Oberlin]

Don't push your luck, Malfoy.

Devyn

[Damien Malfoy]

Oh you wish I'd push something, but I don't think it's my luck

-Dao

[Devyn Oberlin]

Merlin, you really need to get laid.

Devyn