to whom it may concern,

[Lucy Weasley]

just for the record, i think you should send me a pack of fags and a bottle of firewhiskey. i'm not thanking you, but  you should send me them anyways because chances are that otherwise, i will find you. and hunt you down. and make your life a living hell if you don't because my wanker of a cousin stole my stash and i'm pretty fucking pissed off as it is. 

love,
lucy

[Abigail Longbottom]

and if i choose not to, then? you're being awfully demanding there, lucy. what do i get out of this?
- abby

[Lucy Weasley]

my eternal fucking devotion? merlin, abby. don't be reasonable, just send me a pack of fags and firewhiskey and i'll share, i guess. if i have to.



- lucy

[Abigail Longbottom]

okay fine. on one condition. when i get there - and i will, in about twenty minutes - i expect an explanation about which wanker of a cousin dared to steal your stuff, yeah?
- abby

[Lucy Weasley]

if i knew which wanker of a cousin it was, i'd be holding them at wand point. however, i don't. and accusing a random one or all of them individually would just lead to another fucking lecture about assumptions make an 'ass out of u and me' from another relative who thinks they're superior just because they're older.

- lucy

[Abigail Longbottom]

do they really lecture you with stuff like that or have i been underestimating this whole thing with your family for the past ten or so years?

- abby xx

ps: i'm on the way, yeah?

[Lucy Weasley]

well my gran lectures me about manners and my uncle ron is just the biggest twat and lectures me about not being a smart arse all the time. i'm sorry, i can't help it that i'm ten times more intelligent than he'll ever be.

- lucy

p.s. definitely